You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
