please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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