@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
