DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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