Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
