I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
