Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
