I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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