Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
