It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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