Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
