id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
