wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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