While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
