to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
