Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
