she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize