i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
