i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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