i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
