you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize