Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
