You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you made out with another girl for some wings
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
