What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
