Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
