Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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