I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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