Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
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You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list