Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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