on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.