Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!

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  (509): ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car! http://tfl.nu/lfwp
  Replies (13) Good night (847) Bad night (1077)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner

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  (607): Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner http://tfl.nu/msbx
  Replies (38) Good night (3741) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what if every blade of grass was a penis?

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  (610): what if every blade of grass was a penis? http://tfl.nu/ka1d
  Replies (34) Good night (4363) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

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  (913): Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat. (1-913): You're the best girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/imen
  Replies (144) Good night (40764) Bad night (1764)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.

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  (410): If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living. http://tfl.nu/sgz4
  Replies (9) Good night (3827) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.

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  (847): Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels. http://tfl.nu/hv8u
  Replies (13) Good night (7271) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha

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  (203): I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha http://tfl.nu/635d
  Replies (10) Good night (4784) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  morning after pill = breakfast in bed

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  (978): morning after pill = breakfast in bed http://tfl.nu/l1az
  Replies (22) Good night (1409) Bad night (3975)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.

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  (904): Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do. http://tfl.nu/m59t
  Replies (10) Good night (2266) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus

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  (213): I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus http://tfl.nu/i6gi
  Replies (5) Good night (947) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?

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  (425): My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities? http://tfl.nu/eeu5
  Replies (14) Good night (1449) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.

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  (219): You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week. http://tfl.nu/gko2
  Replies (6) Good night (1036) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else

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  (954): I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else http://tfl.nu/v2q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1164) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.

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  (313): Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here (702): Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze. http://tfl.nu/43v0
  Replies (1) Good night (751) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.

  (714): View more from California

  Worser: she offered to clean me up

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  (714): Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted. (714): Worser: she offered to clean me up http://tfl.nu/1w2l
  Replies (11) Good night (398) Bad night (928)

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