I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.