Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

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(905): View more from Toronto

found the other keg... it's in the tree

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(662): View more from Mississippi

So I fucked that hot french guy last night

(228): View more from Mississippi

You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps

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(636): View more from Missouri

maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.

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(518): View more from New York

Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?

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(239): View more from Florida

I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly

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