So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
