Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
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Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.