Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.