I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
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pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?