what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”