fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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