If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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