Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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