"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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