We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
No more Irish car bombs ever.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize