I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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