Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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