So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
