My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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