im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize