Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
