She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
