i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
