hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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