Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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