At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
