She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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