my mouth tastes like poor choices
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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