she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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