I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im holly from the hills drunk
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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