put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
