I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
