I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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