Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
