Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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