I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
