if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
